NEED ENCOURAGEMENT- DATING NON CHRISTIAN AND LIVING IN SIN

 


Response Letters 1

Answers to your many questionsBelow are some of the questions people have emailed to ask us about.

I am not a professional counselor, yet I have been a Christian since 1986. Our responses are based on Biblical principles found in the Bible and through prayer and links to our website. ~ Bill Greguska

If you wish to ask a question of your own, please contact us.

 

Subject: I need counseling
Message Body:
Hi! Found your website because I decided to find counseling online. I would like to talk with someone, a strong Christian, about some problems I face in my life, and I need guidance for this. Can you tell me how counseling occurs?
Elena
Hi Elena

 

I take it that you have already tried to pray about your situation. If not, that is the first thing I would suggest for you to do. I hope this will be of help!
Free counseling is divided into three ways.
I pray that you seek the Lord and you pick what type of counseling you need.
 
Subject: Relationship
Message Body:
Hi..so I’m 51 and was a single mom for 15 years,s but since my children are now adults,s I dated and fell in love with a great man who is raising his two teenage boys on his own. We dated for over a year, and then he got a job in Europe. I never wanted to live with him before marriage, but he asked me to come with him, and I didn’t want to lose him. Also, my daughter is a missionary in Norway, so I thought it would be nice to be closer to her. I thought we’d get engaged soon after the move, but it’s been almost two years in Europe and no engagement yet. I love Jesus and feel extremely convicted, even embarrassed.
I can’t believe I did this and involved the hearts of 2 teenage boys. He is not a Christian, which I wish he saw as though my faith in Jesus is the most important thing in my life. He never discourages me from everything I do to draw close to God. I wish he shared in it and encouraged it. I just moved back to the states this week because I wanted to stop living in sin.  I’m struggling. I’m not sure if I should continue the relationship.
I love him, my kids love him, and his kids are very attached to me. He’s trying to transfer back to the states, but it will probably take at least six months. Since we’re physically separated, I can’t help but think this might be the best time to end the relationship, is that the right thing to do, or is it the worse thing to do since we love each other and the boys would be hurt. He knows I will not live with him again unless we are married. So I need advice… would it be better to stay together and get married or go our separate ways since he isn’t a Christian and we’ve already lived in sin. I have repented and have fully accepted God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness, but I don’t know what to do.
Thank you – Ellen
Good morning Ellen,
I have a strong feeling that you know what the right thing that you ought to do. If you asked your daughter, who is a missionary, you know what she would tell you. You are juggling and struggling, and your struggles seem to be whether to live your life “God’s way” or to live the way that “feels right and is convenient.”
  1. To honor and please God’s?
  2. To live in sin?
  3. To get married to an unbeliever?
  4. To break up?
  5. To be lead by your emotions?
  6. To be lead by God?
You have gotten yourself into is up to you, yet you will reap the benefits or consequences of whatever decision you make.
If you want my opinion, if I were you, I would sit down alone with your boyfriend, tell him what you have told me, say to him that you have
repented and have been able to accept God’s mercy, grace, and forgiveness fully. In doing so, you want to do what is right. It reminds me of what Jesus said to the women on the mount of olives.
John 8:1-11, but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn, he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law, Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now, what do you say?” They were using this question as a trap to have a basis for accusing him.  But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” “No one, sir,” she said. “Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
If, by chance, your boyfriend has a desire to be Born Again like you are, then I believe you do not have to end your friendship with him and the kids, BUT THINGS WOULD NEED TO BE DIFFERENT. OTHERWISE, I THINK YOU NEED TO MAKE A CLEAN BREAK AT THIS POINT UNLESS THE FOLLOWING CAN HAPPEN.
  1. You would need for him to be evenly yoked with you.
  2. He would have to be willing to accept Jesus in his life as his Lord and Savoir.
  3. No more living together. Separate living situation.
  4. No more sex until you are married. God has forgiven you.
I hope what I have shared has been of help to you. If so, please feel free to email me back if you have any other questions about anything I said.
I pray that you allow the Holy Spirit to guide you and lead you in this situation. I pray that the Lord clarifies things for you if you should make a clean break and test the water with his interest to become a Christian (keeping in mind that he might just say that to not lose you). I trust that you will make the right decision since you repented. God has given you forgiveness, mercy, and grace to do His will, not your own will, which we both know gets us nowhere fast!
God bless you, and may He make your decision clear without any struggle or anxiety, but just His perfect peace!

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